The Confession of a Former Skeptic

Okay, I'll admit it. For years—YEARS—I thought everyone was completely exaggerating about The Count of Monte Cristo. Every time someone gushed about this "masterpiece," I'd smile politely while internally rolling my eyes. A 1,200-page novel from 1844? About revenge? Written by some French guy? Sure, Jan.

I mean, come on. How good could a book that old really be? I figured it was one of those classics everyone pretends to love because they're supposed to. Like eating kale or enjoying jazz. You know what I mean.

My Reddit history is literally filled with comments like:

  • "lmao why would I read 1200 pages when I can watch the movie"
  • "classics are just books teachers force you to read, change my mind"
  • "imagine reading Dumas when Brandon Sanderson exists"
  • "This is probably just 19th century Twilight but with more steps"

Yeah, I was THAT guy. The one in every r/books thread being confidently wrong about books I'd never read. Peak Reddit moment, I know.

Why I Was So Wrong (And Kind of Embarrassed About It)

Here's the thing about being a cynic: when you're proven wrong, you're REALLY wrong. And wow, was I wrong about this book. Like, embarrassingly, completely, utterly wrong.

It started innocently enough. I was stuck on a long flight, my phone was dying, and the only entertainment option was an old paperback copy of The Count of Monte Cristo that someone left in the seat pocket. I figured I'd read a few pages, fall asleep, and that would be that.

Six hours later, I was frantically asking the flight attendant if she had a phone charger so I could download the rest of the book. I'm not kidding.

Me on that flight: "Just gonna read a few pages to pass time" → *Leonardo DiCaprio pointing at screen meme* → "WAIT, HE'S DOING WHAT NOW??" → "Ma'am, please, I NEED that charger, Edmund is about to—"

The flight attendant probably posted about me on r/TalesFromTheFlightAttendant: "Passenger having emotional breakdown over old book, demanded emergency phone charger, 10/10 would witness again."

What Nobody Tells You About This Book

Everyone talks about the revenge plot, but nobody mentions that this book is basically:

A Prison Break Story That Makes Shawshank Look Tame

The Château d'If scenes? I literally couldn't put the book down. The friendship between Edmund and Abbé Faria, the secret lessons, the treasure map, the escape—it's like Dumas invented every prison break trope that Hollywood would steal for the next 180 years.

The Ultimate Glow-Up Story

Forget those makeover shows. Edmund Dantès going from innocent sailor to the mysterious, wealthy, sophisticated Count of Monte Cristo? That's the transformation story all others aspire to be. He doesn't just get revenge; he does it with STYLE.

Plot Twists That Actually Surprise You

I pride myself on figuring out plot twists. I called the ending of The Sixth Sense in the first 20 minutes. But Dumas? That sneaky genius had me gasping out loud multiple times. On a plane. In public. I have no shame.

The Moments That Converted This Skeptic

There were specific moments when I went from "this is okay, I guess" to "OH MY GOD, THIS IS AMAZING":

The Treasure Discovery

When Edmund finds the treasure on Monte Cristo island, I felt like I was right there with him. My heart was racing. Over a book. Written in 1844. Who was I becoming?

Not gonna lie, I literally did the Leo pointing meme IRL when he found that treasure. My roommate walked in on me fist-pumping over a book and was like "bro, you good?" And I'm like "EDMUND JUST BECAME RICH AF, THIS IS BETTER THAN GME GAINS!"

Posted in r/books that night: "Guys, I finally understand why boomers like old books. This sh*t slaps harder than my Spotify Wrapped."

The Dinner Party From Hell

The Count's dinner party where he serves his enemies while they have NO IDEA who he is? Chef's kiss. Absolute perfection. I had to stop reading just to process the sheer audacity.

Y'all. Y'ALL. This dinner scene had me SCREAMING. Picture this: The Count invites all his enemies to dinner and they're just sitting there like 🤡 while he's internally like "I know what you did last summer... and 14 summers ago."

I made a whole Reddit post titled: "The Count of Monte Cristo just served the coldest revenge dish and I'm DECEASED." Got 2.3k upvotes and someone gave me gold. Finally, my first gold wasn't for a dumb pun!

The energy was giving "Red Wedding but make it classy." Someone in the comments said "This is just Death Note for people who drink wine" and honestly? Facts.

The Slow Reveal

Watching the Count slowly, methodically reveal himself to each enemy? It's like the world's longest, most satisfying mic drop. Each revelation is perfectly timed, perfectly executed.

Bruh, the way this man reveals his identity is CINEMA. It's giving "I am your father" vibes but stretched over hundreds of pages and somehow EVERY SINGLE REVEAL hits different.

Made a whole thread on r/bookscirclejerk titled "Virgin modern plot twist vs Chad Monte Cristo identity reveal" and even the circlejerk sub had to admit this book goes hard.

The Count really said "I'm about to end this man's whole career" but to like, three different people, and made it a lifestyle. Absolute madlad behavior. 10/10 no notes.

What Really Got Me: It's Not Just About Revenge

Here's what surprised me most: for a book that's famous for being about revenge, it's actually about so much more. It's about:

  • The cost of obsession: What do you lose when you dedicate your life to vengeance?
  • The nature of justice: When does justice become cruelty?
  • The power of hope: That final message about "wait and hope" hit different
  • Redemption: Can you come back from the darkness?

Why Modern Readers Will Love It (From a Reformed Skeptic)

Listen, I get it. You're busy. You've got Netflix. Why read a giant book from the 1800s? Here's why:

It's Basically a Superhero Origin Story

Edmund Dantès is basically Batman, if Batman was French and way better at hosting dinner parties. He's got the tragic backstory, the training montage, the secret identity, the unlimited resources, and the mission for justice.

Someone on r/whowouldwin asked "Batman vs Count of Monte Cristo in a revenge plot" and the entire thread agreed the Count wins. Batman punches criminals. The Count makes them destroy themselves while sipping wine. Different leagues entirely.

My comment with 500+ upvotes: "Batman: I am vengeance. Count: Hold my château-bottled 1815 Burgundy."

NGL, MCU needs to adapt this. Give me Count of Monte Cristo in Phase 5. Tom Holland as young Edmund, Oscar Isaac as the Count. Take my money. TAKE IT ALL.

The Drama Is OFF THE CHARTS

This book has more drama than all seasons of your favorite reality TV show combined. Betrayal, secret identities, poison, duels, love triangles, hidden treasures—it's all there.

Okay but for real, this book walked so that every Netflix drama could run. Game of Thrones? Succession? Euphoria? Dumas did it first and did it better. Someone needs to make a "Monte Cristo did it first" meme template ASAP.

There's literally a scene where someone gets BURIED ALIVE and that's not even in the top 5 most insane moments. My Goodreads review was just "BRO WHAT??" repeated 47 times and it got 200 likes.

Posted on r/books: "Just finished Monte Cristo, need therapy and also 10 more books exactly like this immediately." Top comment: "That's the neat part, there aren't any."

It's Surprisingly Readable

I expected dense, flowery, old-timey language that would put me to sleep. Instead, I got page-turning action and dialogue that feels surprisingly modern. (Get a good translation, though. It matters.)

My Advice to Fellow Skeptics

If you're like I was—skeptical of classics, suspicious of the hype, convinced it can't be THAT good—here's my advice:

Start With the Audiobook

Sometimes hearing a story performed brings it to life in ways reading doesn't. A good narrator can make those 1,200 pages fly by.

Give It 100 Pages

The setup is important. Yes, it starts a bit slow with Edmund's normal life, but that makes the betrayal hit so much harder. Trust the process.

Don't Read Spoilers

I know the book is 180 years old, but resist the urge to Wikipedia the plot. Going in fresh makes those twists so much better.

The Part Where I Eat Humble Pie

To everyone who recommended this book to me over the years: I'm sorry. You were right. I was wrong. So very, very wrong.

To my friend Sarah who literally bought me a copy for my birthday three years ago (which I donated to Goodwill, unopened—I'm SO SORRY, SARAH): You have excellent taste, and I owe you dinner.

To my English teacher who tried to get me to read this in high school: Mr. Peterson, you were right. It IS better than whatever young adult dystopian series I was obsessed with at the time.

The Unexpected Side Effects

Since finishing The Count of Monte Cristo, some weird things have happened:

  • I've started reading other classics (and enjoying them??)
  • I quote the "wait and hope" line at least once a week
  • I judge all revenge plots in movies/TV by Monte Cristo standards
  • I've become that person who recommends this book to everyone
  • I'm seriously considering naming my future cat Abbé Faria

UPDATE: My Life Is Now Divided Into BMC and AMC (Before/After Monte Cristo)

Real talk, this book has ruined me. Some actual things that have happened:

At work: Boss betrayed me by taking credit for my project. Did I confront him? No. I'm playing the long game now. Currently learning three languages and waiting for my moment. The Count would be proud.

Dating apps: Added "Currently reading classics" to my bio. Matches increased by 200%. Thanks, Edmund.

Reddit activity: Went from shitposting in r/dankmemes to writing 3000-word essays in r/literature. My karma has never been higher. My friends think I've been replaced by a pod person.

Amazon history: Before - gaming headsets and energy drinks. After - leather-bound classics and fountain pens. Jeff Bezos is confused but supportive.

Made a "Monte Cristo changed me" starter pack meme. It hit r/all. I've peaked.

Why You Should Read It (From One Skeptic to Another)

Look, I'm not going to lie and say this book changed my life or made me a better person or whatever. But it did remind me why stories have survived for centuries: because a good story is a good story, whether it was written yesterday or in 1844.

The Count of Monte Cristo isn't a classic because teachers say it is or because it's old. It's a classic because it's genuinely, legitimately, undeniably AWESOME. It's the kind of book that makes you want to cancel plans so you can keep reading. It's the kind of book that has you thinking about the characters weeks later.

My Final Confession

I've read The Count of Monte Cristo three times now. Three. Times. Me, the person who used to brag about never reading classics. The person who thought Spark Notes was a perfectly valid way to get through literature class.

Each time I read it, I find something new. A detail I missed, a connection I didn't see, a moment that hits differently based on where I am in life. That's the mark of a truly great book—it grows with you.

So Yeah, Everyone Was Right

If you're sitting there thinking what I used to think—that people are exaggerating, that it can't be that good, that classics are boring—all I can say is: give it a shot. What's the worst that could happen? You waste a few hours?

Or, like me, you might discover that sometimes, just sometimes, when everyone says something is amazing... they're actually telling the truth.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go apologize to Sarah again and maybe buy her that dinner I owe her. And possibly name my future cat Abbé Faria.

EDIT: Holy Sh*t, This Blew Up! Thanks for the Awards, Kind Strangers!

EDIT 1: RIP my inbox. Yes, I know there are movies. No, watching the movie is NOT the same. Don't @ me.

EDIT 2: To everyone DMing me other book recommendations - I see you, I appreciate you, my TBR list is now longer than Monte Cristo itself.

EDIT 3: Someone asked for my ranked list of Monte Cristo moments. Here we go:

  1. The treasure discovery - Still gives me goosebumps
  2. The dinner party reveal - Psychological warfare at its finest
  3. Prison escape - *Chef's kiss*
  4. "Wait and hope" - I'm not crying, you're crying
  5. Every single identity reveal - Dumas really said "I'll do it again"

EDIT 4: Y'all convinced me to start a Monte Cristo reread club on r/books. First meeting is next Monday. We're calling it "Counts Anonymous."

EDIT 5: My cat is now officially named Abbé Faria. He's already plotting something. I regret nothing.

TL;DR for My Fellow Smooth-Brained Redditors

Thought old book = boring. Was wrong. Book actually slaps. Now I'm cultured AF and won't shut up about it. 10/10 would have my mind blown again.

Seriously though, if you take anything from this rambling mess of a post: give the book a chance. What's the worst that happens? You become slightly more educated? You have something to talk about at parties besides crypto? You understand literary references?

The horror. The absolute horror.

Now go read it, you beautiful bastards. The Count is waiting.

Peace out,
A Reformed Classic Literature Hater

P.S. - Sarah, if you're reading this, dinner's on me. And yes, I'll bring my leather-bound edition to show you. I've become everything I once mocked.